February 2009
16 posts
2 tags
Timbuk2
506 Hayes St San Francisco, CA 94102 (415) 252-9860
I feel like I have to practice Cafe-Gratitude-like self-affirmations when I enter Timbuk2. I Am Socially Responsible. I Am Frugally Rich. I Am Vanguard. I Am Casually Urban. My Consumer Choices Speak My Lifestyle. I Think Globally and Spend Locally. I Support “The Arts.” My Hip Lifestyle Is Envied. I Look Amazing With a European...
4 tags
Beverages & More
836 San Pablo Avenue Albany, CA 94706 (510) 525-9582
Ode to BevMo [to the tune of Petula Clark’s Downtown]: When I was young And my BAC was too low I could always go to BevMo This magical place Had a parking lot off San Pablo It’s BevMo! When I wanted Kahlua or Skyy or Jose Cuervo I could find them all and more Along the ordered aisles of Beehh-evMo The prices are much lower there I...
3 tags
Zara
250 Post Street San Francisco, CA 94101 (415) 399-6930
I got the awesomest most plaidy mcplaidplaid messenger bag here (i’m a whore for plaid and argyle). It holds my laptop computer (that I have to bring to work every), it has pockets for my cell phone, both outer and inner storage areas and get this - a SIDE zipper, perfect to hold my ever fashionable iPod (although I still physically...
2 tags
Costco Wholesale Warehouse
450 10th St San Francisco, CA 94103 (415) 626-4388
I’m checking out, purchasing all of my wonderful bulk products. Me: Do you take checks? Costco Register Dude: Yes, we do. Me: Score! [writes out check for correct amount] CRD: Excuse me sir, you have to change this. Me: [checking amount] What’s wrong, it’s the right amount, isn’t it? CRD: Yes sir, but you...
2 tags
Paris Las Vegas
3655 Las Vegas Blvd S Las Vegas, NV 89109 (702) 946-4060
Where else can you go to get an EIFFEL TOWER DAIQUIRI?! That shit’s fucked UP yo. We’re standing next to the fake French fountain, drinking some fake french daiquiri (out of a fake French Tour Eiffel cup, bien sur), eating a fake French crepe, and looking at the fake French village. We see some very not-fake Midwestern...
3 tags
Blake's on Telegraph
2367 Telegraph Ave Berkeley, CA 94704 (510) 848-0886
Ahhhhhh Blakes. Despite your scuzziness and whoredom, you and only you allowed me to basically drink away my last six months in college. I was a senior. I was so over “Berkeley” and all the Azns and Greeks and the “college” scene. But I went to Blake’s one last time, to see one of my favorite East Bay bands,...
2 tags
Isotope Comics
326 Fell St San Francisco, CA 94102 (415) 621-6543
When I was awkwardly pre-teen in my sunny Southern California suburb, I used to ask my parents to take me to the Chula Vista Public Library all the time. It wasn’t because I wanted to go to the library, but because they’d drop me off for hours at a time, and then I’d get a chance to *really* let loose. Ok, letting loose when I...
4 tags
Sizzler
665 San Pablo Avenue Albany, CA 94706 (510) 524-1989
I think it’s cute that they now advertise “All You Care to Eat” rather than “All You Can Eat” salad bars. I’m probably not their target clientele, as I would *care* to eat way more than I possibly *can* eat (yeah I’m a chubby bunny - AND?). Anyways, Cynthia P. and I came down to Sizzler (with...
4 tags
Sweet Tomatoes
40 Crescent Dr Pleasant Hill, CA 94523 (925) 676-8493
Back in our college days, my friend and I would always scheme on how to get as much food as possibly without paying an arm and a leg. This might have been our best plan yet. We both go to Sweet Tomatoes, except only I get a salad. When the time comes to pay, I say just for one, she’s not going to eat cause she’s not hungry. So...
3 tags
The Cheeseboard
1512 Shattuck Ave Berkeley, CA 94709 (510) 549-3183
I LOVE this place. I had just come back from a study abroad program Paris, learning about the history and intricacies of socio-political relations between America and France (really, drinking lots of cheap wine, smoking way too many cigarettes, and eating way too much amazing food, but whatever). Ah Calfornia, I was so glad to be back. My...
2 tags
Jim's 'Lectric Washouse
5900 Telegraph Ave Oakland, CA 94609 (510) 654-5534
It’s way past my bedtime. I can’t sleep. Tumblr wasn’t invented yet. All the dishes are done. My apartment’s clean. I’m bored with porn. What do I do? Well, I guess I’ll hop and skip on over to the ‘Lectric Washouse (is it just me or does the name of this place make you wanna sing - She’s a...
2 tags
Lost Weekend Video
1034 Valencia St San Francisco, CA 94110 (415) 643-3373
I took a pretentious film class at Berkeley, and the professor of the class lived in the Mission (I might have seen him at Ritual Roasters recently) and took pride in being more-pretentious-than-thou. Seriously, he would smoke cigars (not in class, of course), wear a beret, speak in a mock euro-french accent, and dress in all black. If he...
2 tags
H&M
22 N State St Chicago, IL 60602 (312) 263-4436
I like breaking fashion rules. Rule #1: Don’t wear Crocs. Broken. I can’t even stand having to wear non-resin-molded-to-my-feet shoes anymore. Rule #2: Don’t wear Crocs in the rain. Broken. It’s been raining. See why I broke rule 1. Oh well. Rule #3: Don’t wear socks while wearing Crocs. Broken. My feet...
2 tags
Intelligentsia Coffee and Tea
3123 N Broadway Chicago, IL 60657 (773) 348-8058
Intelligentsia is a chain, n’est pas? A couple things I’ve noted while visiting the Windy City of Chicago (as a side note, it’s not that windy. In fact, if it were up to me, it’d be called the humid, sticky, rainy City of Chicago).
One: this city is NOT a coffee city. Other than wretched Starbucks and the...
2 tags
CTA (Chicago Transit Authority)
567 W Lake Street Chicago, IL 60661 (312) 664-7200
After reading all the negative-Nancy reviews on the CTA, I’m going to say it once: Chicagoans, you have arguably the second best rail system in the country. Stop complaining. I’ve heard the negative stories - it breaks down a lot, there are always delays, the service isn’t that good, some don’t come for a long...
3 tags
The Highlands Hollywood
6801 Hollywood Boulevard Los Angeles, CA 90028 (323) 461-9800
Ohhhhhh man. I can’t go here ever again. So, my company had an annual meeting at the Renaissance Hollywood hotel, and everyone from the West Coast (Southland, Bay Area, Seattle) flew into L.A. to participate. All us young-types have the great idea to stay an extra night and go clubbing. And look! The Highlands club is just...
January 2009
20 posts
2 tags
Zeitgeist
199 Valencia St San Francisco, CA 94103 (415) 255-7505
Everybody who’s anybody already knows about Zeitgeist, so I’m just gonna relay a story. I’m sitting in the outside garden, and ask the dude sitting next to me for a cigarette. We get to talking and whatnot, and I ask him what he does. He says he works in “The Valley.” So I’m like, uhh, “Noe...
2 tags
Darla's Restaurant
822 Irving St San Francisco, CA 94122 (415) 753-3275
Darla is just a peach, isn’t she? As for the sign (“Best Burgers in San Francisco”) I’d protest a little to that. The burgers are ok, but more than that, it just feels *nice* being in here. I’d give it three stars for the burgers/food, and a fourth star for the excellent service (ahem, Darla) and for not...
3 tags
Flight 001
525 Hayes St San Francisco, CA 94102 (415) 487-1001
I don’t know about you, but stylish luggage gets me all hot and bothered. Rawr. See, I walk into the airport, and there’s a woman, and she’s looking all stylish with her hipper-than-thou luggage and “oh me, i just threw this all together” outfit and nonchalant carefree traveler’s attitude, as if life was...
2 tags
The Wiener's Circle
Alright, so I am TOTALLY glad that I was warned about this place before I came. I asked my friends about where to get a Chicago dog, and what exactly is a Chicago dog? They reply, it has a bunch of toppings, including sweet peppers and mustard. So I say, oh, I’m not the biggest fan of sweet peppers or mustard so I probably should order one without them. They reply: No! I will get...
3 tags
Brandy Ho's Hunan Food
217 Columbus Ave San Francisco, CA 94133 (415) 788-7527
Brandy Ho’s is NAH-ASS-TY. Seriously. I’m usually not this selfless, but I would like to apologize on behalf of the entire Chinese community (and there’s a lot of us slanty-eyed folks) for Brandy Ho’s. I’m ashamed of Brandy’s behaviour (loud and generally abrasive), Brandy’s prices (who the hell...
Allgauer's on the Riverfront
2855 Milwaukee Avenue Northbrook, IL 60062 (847) 664-7999 Oh man, I gotta tear this place a new one. Allgauer’s on the Riverfront is the restaurant inside the Northbrook Hilton Hotel. And, lest you be fooled by the name, by “Riverfront” they mean “artificial chlorinated lake with glorified sprinkler system in center.” I say potato, Hilton says...
3 tags
Lou Malnati's Pizzeria
6649 N Lincoln Ave Lincolnwood, IL 60712 (847) 673-0800
Ok - so I’m driving my wimpy-ass scooter to work a little over a year ago, in San Francisco. A large SUV-type soccer-mom-mobile cuts me off, hits my front tire, and screams off down the street. I go crashing in the middle of the intersection, my 200+ pound scooter on top of me, and my ankle shattered. I had to stay in the...
2 tags
White Castle
3212 W Addison St Chicago, IL 60618 (773) 539-2505
A native Californian, this is the first time I’ve ever encountered what all you people maniacally refer to as “White Castle sliders,” introduced to me via Harold and Kumar. The name “sliders” is tragically appropriate. I’m writing this here review on the toilet. Thank god for WiFi.
4 tags
99 Ranch Market
3288 Pierce St Richmond, CA 94804 (510) 558-2120
I have a love/hate relationship with Asian supermarkets, which combine the convenience of a Safeway or Albertsons with the goodies of my very chinese childhood (and adulthood). I also love that they have food stations around the store, for a dead duck hanging by its feet or some dry squid or some other crazy good stuff that scares the whiteys....
2 tags
Pho Phu Quoc (PPQ) Restaurant
1816 Irving St San Francisco, CA 94122 (415) 661-8869
My seester: ”Hey, so there’s this Pho place we always go to. It’s so good - it’s like almost the best Pho in the City.” Me: ”Is it PHO-nomenal?” seester: ”…” Me: ”Is it PHO-reaking delicious?” seester: ”…” Me: ”Is it PHO-antastic?”...
3 tags
Kaiser Permanente Medical Center
2238 Geary Blvd San Francisco, CA 94118 (415) 833-2000
Kaiser, oh Kaiser. Why must you tease me so with your promises of managed healthcare, yet tangle me in your web of bureaucracy? I’ve been to Kaiser on four different occasions while in San Francisco. One - I got hit by a car and had to have the ambulance take me to Kaiser. The emergency room doctor reset my broken ankle and put a...
4 tags
It's Tops Coffee Shop
1801 Market St San Francisco, CA 94103 (415) 431-6395
My first impression of this place was that it was a hipster hangout *trying* to be retro. The thing is, I was totally wrong. Apparantly, it’s been like this all its life, it’s one of those “been here forever” type stores, and the food is decent diner grub. The space is tiny - there’s like 5 booths and a...
2 tags
Gardens of Avila
1215 Avila Beach Dr Avila Beach, CA 93424 (805) 595-7365
The restaurant food was alright, I suppose. However, I was told I had a very “Oriental-looking face” (the fuck?!? hello, 1955, I’m 2007, nice to meet you!!!!) and the bartender didn’t know how to make a vodka collins, which I honestly think is the bigger character flaw in the larger game of life.
Telegraph Avenue
Telegraph Avenue Berkeley, CA 94704
I lived 0 to 2 blocks off of Telegraph Avenue during my entire 4-year stay in one of this country’s most famously political and liberal towns, gettin’ my learn on. While its troubles have been documented (*sniff*, bye Codys!) Telegraph will always have a place in my heart. You have the Telegraph transients (Hat Lady, Dr. Jokemon, God Bless You guy,...
2 tags
Fabric8
3318 22nd Street San Francisco, CA 94110 (415) 647-5888
I heart Fabric8. I’ve purchased shirts mainly as gifts (the “One Guey” shirt comes to mind) as well as some stuff for myself. My only gripe is that a lot of their shirts don’t come in my size, and their mens selection is kind of limited. So basically, my gripe is that I’m too fat. I have no idea how...
3 tags
Spices!
294 8th Ave San Francisco, CA 94118 (415) 752-8884
It’s soooooo SAH-PICEY!!!!!! I have to order “No SAH-PICEY! NO SAH-PICEY! PREASE!” and shake my head and my hands in order to place an order here. Seriously, someone ordered a plate of JUST fried red peppers. They were not even lying. It came within two feet of my face, and I got a freaking sunburn. So, I’m...
3 tags
Gregoire
2109 Cedar St Berkeley, CA 94709 (510) 883-1893
Quand j’etais un etudiant a Berkeley, je etudierais souvent mon francais ici, a cette restaurant - chez Gregoire. Les sandwiches sount toujours frais et delicieux - les ingredients etaient interessants et savoureux, et les prix sont raisonnables, particulierement pour la qualite de la nourriture. Tandis que je m’asseyais sur...
5 tags
Espetus Churrascaria
1686 Market St San Francisco, CA 94102 (415) 552-8792
ALL YOU CAN EAT MEAT!!!! Seriously, though, in addition to meat on swords (LOTS OF IT), they have a decent salad bar (hearts of palm!!) and paella. And they serve a mean sangria. But you can’t beat the meat. Well you can, but hopefully not in public, and hopefully not in this classy establishment. I had four servings of the...
2 tags
Momi Toby's Revolution Cafe & Art Bar
528 Laguna St San Francisco, CA 94102 (415) 626-1508
It’s another artsy cafe. Not bad, but not destination-worthy either. Momi Toby’s is kind of like a fuck-buddy, you’re glad they’re there, but it’s not an integral part of life. But sometimes, damn, it feels good. It’s a strong part of the Hayes Valley fabric, and I’m glad it’s here, much like...
2 tags
San Tung Chinese Restaurant
1031 Irving St San Francisco, CA 94122 (415) 242-0828
I’m a chink - and this is the place I take my parents to when they visit. They love it here - fresh thick homemade noodles, amazing dumplings and wontons, and dry fried chicken wings so good you’ll want to hump a street sign while screaming about your lost virginity. Yes, I have issues. With obligatory service that makes you...